A little over a year ago I was meeting with Anna Barnett, author of Eat the Week cookery book and she was raving about her life coach and insisted that I meet with her. Now it's my turn to introduce you to Victoria Hockley. Vic is one of those ladies who oozes joy and positivity and alway puts a smile on your face. I'm so grateful to have met her and now to be working along side her on our Shine Bright workshop on 20th August. With only a week to go be quick and snap up the last couple of tickets here.
I've asked Vic to take over my blog to tell you a little more about what she does and how life coaching can help you. Make sure you read to the bottom of the page because she is also offering a free 1 to 1 coaching session for people who have bought tickets to our Shine Bright workshop. Over to you Vic.
Thanks for the intro Sommer and hello lovely people it's so nice to be here on the House Curious blog and to chat with you all. Hopefully I can give you a little insight into what I do and how I help my clients plus share useful exercises that I use with some of my clients.
I often have clients that say that they would really like to work on their ‘time management’. You may or may not be surprised to know that interestingly there’s often much more that lies behind their want or need for this ‘time’, and so I find that more often than not that I am looking for the things that are ‘not’ said, rather than the things that are!
I also find that some clients want to get straight into goal setting. And whilst I also almost can’t wait to get to this point (for them too), if we miss the fundamental basics, then these new goals they commit to won’t last long at all.
So where is our starting point?
More than ever it is important to begin to understand YOU, to understand what isn’t making you happy, what is making you happy, and what are your secret desires?
A few questions to help with understanding you:
1. When am I at my happiest? Be really honest with yourself. Remember this is only for you. Write down the things that make you happy. What are you doing? What are you saying? Who are you spending time with?
2. How much of my time do I actually spend doing things that make me happy? What are the reasons? What is your reality? Are your choices made for you? Where are you in the queue for happiness?
3. What would be the benefits of spending more time doing the things that make me happy?
Really think about the positive effects on your life and those you love
4. In the long term what will it cost me if I don’t work towards understanding what holds me back? Really think about what you could be missing out on. Do the fears outweigh the benefits? Or do the benefits outweigh the fears?
In a way it is all about Self-Awareness. Some have greater self-awareness than others. There is no right or wrong, but the clearer we are in understanding what may hold us back and the reasons behind our actions, the quicker we can start working on that time management!!
A really good way to start to become more aware of your own actions is by studying the reactions of others.
I have a little explanation around different personalities that has helped my clients and friends, in differentiating between the red and green lighters in their life. “What are they?” I hear you say.
Often we have friends or loved ones that when we tell them about an exciting idea, or a big change we intend to make in our lives they throw out some negativity. A “what do you want to do that for?”, and a “That’s ridiculous”. These I call the ‘red lighters’.
Then you have what I call the ‘green lighters’, the friends and loved ones that are supportive and encouraging and say “That’s fantastic”, and “Good for you, tell me more”.
Personally I am more selective with what I share with the red lighters in my life, but trust me this has taken years of practice, and it does not mean I do not love them. I just know that their personal responses may affect my decisions, and I want to be influenced by positivity rather than negativity.
The point is that the red lighters are not bad people, they still often love and care about you as we do them, it’s just that they are putting their own fears onto your choices! They may feel they would never have the courage or that it is too risky, whereas the green lighters in your life would generally take the more optimistic approach to life, and usually see the benefits and excitement from your point of view.
The idea is NOT to make you dislike the red lighters, but to just be more aware. If you recognise the people who impact you more positively, are less likely to hold you back and are more likely to support you, then it will help you to consider with whom to share your next BIG idea.
A really good exercise to help recognise this in others is this:
Think about 3 or 4 people that you spend time with. Notice the beliefs that they have about themselves and others. Listen to what they have to say and how they provide the ‘evidence’ to support their beliefs. Look for those that have limiting, negative beliefs and those that have positive, optimistic beliefs.
It will I’m sure make you start to think about the advice you offer and the things you say to your friends. Remember, if you are reading this and thinking “oh no, I think I’m a red lighter”, it isn’t a bad thing, we all have reasons for carrying different traits. In fact, if anything it shows that you have some great self-awareness as you are able to recognise that perhaps at times you do push your own fears onto others, and maybe just that thought alone could help you to understand yourself that little bit better.
Here’s a little quote to finish:
“Your past has given you the strength and wisdom you have today, so celebrate it, don’t let it haunt you”
Shine Bright Wellness Workshop
To each person that buys a ticket to our Shine Bright Wellness Workshop, I am offering my 1 to 1 expertise to help you on route to setting your goals.
1. You’ll dig deep and complete a questionnaire to maximise the programme
2. I will go through and personally give you feedback on each area
3. I will send you an email breakdown giving you some focused ideas of PRIORITY areas for you to work on
4. You will receive 10% off when you sign up for any coaching packages
If you buy your tickets early enough I will be able to complete this before the workshop, which will genuinely benefit you with our work together on the day!
Thanks for having me today and I hope you all have a fantastic and productive week.