Guest blogger - Victoria Hockley, Life Coach

A little over a year ago I was meeting with Anna Barnett, author of Eat the Week cookery book and she was raving about her life coach and insisted that I meet with her. Now it's my turn to introduce you to Victoria Hockley. Vic is one of those ladies who oozes joy and positivity and alway puts a smile on your face. I'm so grateful to have met her and now to be working along side her on our Shine Bright workshop on 20th August. With only a week to go be quick and snap up the last couple of tickets here.

I've asked Vic to take over my blog to tell you a little more about what she does and how life coaching can help you. Make sure you read to the bottom of the page because she is also offering a free 1 to 1 coaching session for people who have bought tickets to our Shine Bright workshop. Over to you Vic.

Thanks for the intro Sommer and hello lovely people it's so nice to be here on the House Curious blog and to chat with you all. Hopefully I can give you a little insight into what I do and how I help my clients plus share useful exercises that I use with some of my clients.

I often have clients that say that they would really like to work on their ‘time management’. You may or may not be surprised to know that interestingly there’s often much more that lies behind their want or need for this ‘time’, and so I find that more often than not that I am looking for the things that are ‘not’ said, rather than the things that are!

I also find that some clients want to get straight into goal setting. And whilst I also almost can’t wait to get to this point (for them too), if we miss the fundamental basics, then these new goals they commit to won’t last long at all.

So where is our starting point?

More than ever it is important to begin to understand YOU, to understand what isn’t making you happy, what is making you happy, and what are your secret desires?

A few questions to help with understanding you:

1.     When am I at my happiest? Be really honest with yourself. Remember this is only for you. Write down the things that make you happy. What are you doing? What are you saying? Who are you spending time with?

2.     How much of my time do I actually spend doing things that make me happy? What are the reasons? What is your reality? Are your choices made for you? Where are you in the queue for happiness?

3.     What would be the benefits of spending more time doing the things that make me happy?

Really think about the positive effects on your life and those you love

4.     In the long term what will it cost me if I don’t work towards understanding what holds me back? Really think about what you could be missing out on. Do the fears outweigh the benefits? Or do the benefits outweigh the fears?

In a way it is all about Self-Awareness. Some have greater self-awareness than others. There is no right or wrong, but the clearer we are in understanding what may hold us back and the reasons behind our actions, the quicker we can start working on that time management!!

A really good way to start to become more aware of your own actions is by studying the reactions of others.

I have a little explanation around different personalities that has helped my clients and friends, in differentiating between the red and green lighters in their life. “What are they?” I hear you say.

Often we have friends or loved ones that when we tell them about an exciting idea, or a big change we intend to make in our lives they throw out some negativity. A “what do you want to do that for?”, and a “That’s ridiculous”. These I call the ‘red lighters’.

Then you have what I call the ‘green lighters’, the friends and loved ones that are supportive and encouraging and say “That’s fantastic”, and “Good for you, tell me more”.

Personally I am more selective with what I share with the red lighters in my life, but trust me this has taken years of practice, and it does not mean I do not love them. I just know that their personal responses may affect my decisions, and I want to be influenced by positivity rather than negativity.

The point is that the red lighters are not bad people, they still often love and care about you as we do them, it’s just that they are putting their own fears onto your choices! They may feel they would never have the courage or that it is too risky, whereas the green lighters in your life would generally take the more optimistic approach to life, and usually see the benefits and excitement from your point of view.

The idea is NOT to make you dislike the red lighters, but to just be more aware. If you recognise the people who impact you more positively, are less likely to hold you back and are more likely to support you, then it will help you to consider with whom to share your next BIG idea.

A really good exercise to help recognise this in others is this:

Think about 3 or 4 people that you spend time with. Notice the beliefs that they have about themselves and others. Listen to what they have to say and how they provide the ‘evidence’ to support their beliefs. Look for those that have limiting, negative beliefs and those that have positive, optimistic beliefs.

It will I’m sure make you start to think about the advice you offer and the things you say to your friends. Remember, if you are reading this and thinking “oh no, I think I’m a red lighter”, it isn’t a bad thing, we all have reasons for carrying different traits. In fact, if anything it shows that you have some great self-awareness as you are able to recognise that perhaps at times you do push your own fears onto others, and maybe just that thought alone could help you to understand yourself that little bit better.

Here’s a little quote to finish:

 “Your past has given you the strength and wisdom you have today, so celebrate it, don’t let it haunt you”

Shine Bright Wellness Workshop

To each person that buys a ticket to our Shine Bright Wellness Workshop, I am offering my 1 to 1 expertise to help you on route to setting your goals.

This includes:

1.     You’ll dig deep and complete a questionnaire to maximise the programme

2.     I will go through and personally give you feedback on each area

3.     I will send you an email breakdown giving you some focused ideas of PRIORITY areas for you to work on

4.     You will receive 10% off when you sign up for any coaching packages

If you buy your tickets early enough I will be able to complete this before the workshop, which will genuinely benefit you with our work together on the day!

Thanks for having me today and I hope you all have a fantastic and productive week.

xx

Make your own magic

Creating the life that you love to live can feel like an elusive dream. It's so easy to get bogged down in the messiness of the daily grind but we all have a choice on how we wish to live.  It can be so easy to blame unhappiness on outside forces; on our parents or our upbringing, on our jobs or life experiences, on losses we've suffered or partners we've had. But here's the thing: You are the only person who can create that magical life you so desire. It starts within you and it's the small daily choices that we make day after day that contributes to the way you feel and live your life. Here are my six steps for creating your own magic in the every day.

1. Make happiness a priority

Do more of what makes you happy and think about how you can bring more joy into your daily life. You're more likely to reach your potential in all areas of your life if you think positively. A simple way to help with this is to write down a list of all the things that make you happy, big or small. I like to break it down by daily, weekly and yearly joys and refer back each week to make sure that I'm doing more of what makes me happy. So on a daily basis it may be taking time out to have a long lunch or taking a bath and reading your fave mag or listening to a positive podcast. A monthly thing may be going to a spa or heading out to the country and living slowly for the weekend. A big holiday each year is always a great way to bring adventure and inspiration to your life and to help recharge those batteries. This may sound counterintuitive but it can also be helpful to write down the things that make you unhappy. By understanding what makes you upset, angry or anxious you're in a better position to avoid situations or fix problems, making positive changes. Recognition is half the battle. The Happiness journal by Kikki.K is a great way to help you prioritise your happiness. We love this journal so much that we've decided to give away a copy to each person who comes to our Shine Bright wellness day. Tickets can be bought here  

2. Give fear the heave ho

Hands up if you ever let fear get in the way of your dreams? For so long I let fear get in the way of my dream of leaving my comfy job and starting my own business. The fear was big, you know the usual what happens if I fail? I will look ridiculous and how will I make it work and juggle being a mum and so on. It all seemed too hard because I was letting the fears manifest in my mind and they became bigger than they actually were in reality. There was a point in my life where I turned fear upside down and worked it in my favour. Very simply the fear of not achieving my dreams was far greater than those other fears of looking like a fool or failing. Sometimes we just have to look at fear in a different way and remind ourselves that the fear of not going after that dream can be greater than the original fear itself. Don't know about you but I don't want to be 60 years old and regretting what I didn't do. I want to look back and think; wow I've lived my life.

Source: Zeutcher

3. Visualise your dreams and aspirations

I'm very much a visual person so for me I like to bring my dreams and aspirations alive through images. If I can see it and be reminded everyday of my dreams I am more likely to make small changes to get to my finally destination. Pinterest is a great way to bring your dreams to life or go the old fashion route and cut out images, photos, quotes and anything that makes your heart sing and stick it on a board. Look at it daily for inspiration and remind yourself what it is you need to do in order to achieve your hearts desires.  

4. Surround yourself with positivity

Surrounding yourself with people who are positive is obvious but sometime this may mean going outside your comfort zone to meet new, like minded people. When I was on my journey to starting my business I found new energy and positiveness by going to networking events or inspirational evenings. I was overwhelmed with the support and positive vibes from complete strangers. I've made some fantastic new friendships with people on similar journeys and I know they will support and lift me up when I'm having a wobble. For me it's not just the people we surround ourselves with. It applies to all aspects of our life- the trashy magazines, gossip columns and mind numbing TV.  It all can be so toxic and negative so instead try reading interesting blogs or listening to positive podcasts or reading good books. To be honest I'm getting nothing from reading about the feud between Kanye and Taylor or pics of celebrities looking less than perfect. Tip out the crap and fill your cup with the good stuff. Here are a few of my favourite alternatives:

Podcast: Ted radio hour : Stuff you should know : Happiness 5 a day

Blog: Decor8 : Abigail Ahern : Danielle Laporte : Local Milk : The Dailys

Magazines: Psychologies : Open House  : Cereal : Kinfolk

5. Look forward - let go of the past

We have all made mistakes in the past and we'll probably make more in the future but thats ok we're human and that's how we grow as a person. It's easy to obsess about the things that didn't work out or the missed opportunities or the mistakes we made. But how about we accept that we can't change the past and instead use that energy to focus on the lessons learnt and how we are going to make tomorrow even better. Today is a new day for opportunities and adventures, yesterday is just old news. 

Source: Zeutcher

6. Disrupt habits

Do you ever feel like each day blends into the other and before you know it another mediocre week has gone by. You yearn for some excitement or something wonderful to happen but it doesn't. Well, it can if you really want it to but the chances are only you can make it happen. Think about what you do each day. What you do when you wake up, how do you get to work, where you eat your lunch, what your evening routine is etc. Without even realising it, your habits make up your day.  If you want positive changes and new energy you need to disrupt your daily habits and make a conscious effort each day to change something. It could be as simple as walking the scenic route to work. You never know who you might bump into! Or doing something completely random like aerial acrobatics or just putting yourself out there to meet new people. Ever travelled on your own? It can be pretty intense but an amazing adventure. I did this in Thailand and met some amazing people and had some incredible experiences that I will cherish for ever. I also had some hairy moments but that's all part of the adventure. I've had life changing things happen to me just by overcoming fear and getting the courage to talk to someone about a potential collaboration. It's often the little things you do that often come back to you ten fold. This year has been such a magical year for me and it's all down to daily habits or changes I have consciously made. I really do believe we make our own magic, so what are you waiting for? Go out and create some magic of your own. 

Comment below and tell me how you make your own magic. Enjoy the rest of your sunday and have a great week x

P.S Don't forget to check out my shop for up coming events as new dates will be added and I'm sure there will be something there to give you a little joy x

Craft by hand

Hi there

Don't know about you but I have a small obsession with beautiful stationery and I love the idea of handwritten notes in a world where text and emails rule. The only thing is I absolutely hate my handwriting so I rarely send a handwritten note but hopefully that is all going to change. Let me introduce you to Lucy from Quill London who is hosting an introduction to Modern Calligraphy in our Candle and Calligraphy workshop 10th July with Earl of East London. Tickets can be purchased here. 

For those of us that are not familiar with Quill London tell us what you do.

Hello, we're a boutique dedicated to stylish stationery (online at quilllondon.com and with a bricks-and-mortar shop in Clerkenwell) and we also have a calligraphy studio and run lots of workshops for lovely people.

What is your background and where did the idea for Quill London come from?

I love stationery, and wanted to build a brand that specialised in showcasing beautiful stationery from independent designers, makers and studios. I am not a designer but love curating our ever-changing collection of stationery. Together with an amazingly talented UK Calligrapher Imogen Owen, Quill hosted its first Modern Calligraphy workshops two years after launching Quill London, having spotted the trend over in the states and there was nowhere you could learn in London. I hadn't picked up a pen before that, but it's safe to say I've definitely caught the Modern Calligraphy bug. I love that, although unplanned, it's now such a huge part of Quill, that I get to meet all kinds of amazing people through it and work with great clients, and that I now get to teach other people too.

In your opinion what are the hottest trends in stationery right now?

Modern Calligraphy is definitely super hot right now! But in the shop we're getting a lot of requests for personalised stationery for kids?!

What has been your proudest moment to date?

Opening our bricks-and-mortar shop earlier this year. I didn't plan or particularly dream of having a store but now that we have it, I am very proud of the achievement.

What would be your advice to someone who is thinking about starting up a business?

Be prepared for a serious amount of hard work, make sure you have a good squad of friends and family to support you, research, research, research and get your mistakes out on paper in a business plan before you start, and just go for it and be prepared to go with the flow, you never know where it will take you.

What exciting things do you have in the pipeline for Quill London that you can share with us?

Hoping to launch our wedding & event stationery this year…..although it's taking a lot longer than I hoped! Maybe even a second store...

Complete these sentences:

Every home office should have a collection of lovely cards and notepaper so you can quickly send off thank yous after dinners, events and overnight stays. 

Your favourite part of London is Southwark because it still feels like 'real' London and there are so many gems (especially foodie ones). 

My favourite thing to do when I have a day off is hang out with my husband Alex, feast, wander and explore.

I hope you enjoyed getting to now Lucy a little better and if you want to join us for our workshop in June then head over to the shop now. 

With love,

Sommer x